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Shane Dawson
Shane Dawson (born July 19, 1988) is frequently known as a racist, homophobic, and cross-dressing YouTuber. On the flip side, many consider him funny and hardworking. He is a man who wouldn't dare put up a video without begging for a thumbs up (5 stars), more comments, and more subscribers, which in turn would make him more money. For a while, Shane Dawson always kept three places on the top 100 subscribed list on YouTube (he runs 3 channels, his first being his main channel, his second being his main channel reject videos, and his latest consisting of all iPhone videos, he could do it all with just one channel and make it easier for us by creating playlists, but that would make him less Do Re Mi). Every other day, he makes a new, tasteless fail video, and it's on the YouTube homepage for the next 3-4 months. He was born as Shane Yaw but changed his name to Dawson in 2008, in faith he got turned down as an actor because people thought he was Asian. That's right, Shane wants to be an actor. He occasionally gets chances, but he's always turned away because he sucks at comedy and his jokes and videos only get more and more predictable. Shane also says he won't have sex until marriage which is false because he had sex with his cats, his dogs, and Onision multiple times. Most of his fans are dumbasses, who belong to the cult of YouTube (the gods of the cult are Shane, RayWilliamJohnson, Shaycarl, Sxephil, iJustine, ect.) Whore Tactics Shane Dawson was the person who made the disgraceful act known as "YouTube Whoring" popular to the mass-market. This crime to common sense is made of following ingredients: *Begging for 5 Star Ratings or Thumbs Up in every video you make; via annotations or shout out, however you want it (the coolest way to do it goes something like "OMG RATE 5 STARS FOR ME SAYING PENIS!!!!!11) *Begging for subscribers in same fashion as the 5-star-begging *Asking a random question that has nothing to do with the video then telling his fans to answer in the comments section. Sometimes he does not even have to try. *Posting misleading titles on most of his videos that he's "allowed" to keep up because he said those words in a sentence. *thumbnail pic that has nothing to do with the video; e.g. a woman with huge tits for a video about going to school (only for YouTube partners :'( ) If you follow these steps precisely, the views will flush in like the vomit will flush out of the viewers. Also, you are a YouTube whore now. Important note: Shane, as well as the other YouTube-whores are breaking YouTubes' terms of service by using misleading thumbnails and titles. YouTube however, has double standards for people that make money for them. This basically means you are only allowed to break the rules if you are a YouTube partner, so be a YouTube-whore at own risk. What to title a video Always be sure to keep an eye, ear, and dollar sign out for simple pop culture references and sexual innuendo in your videos. If Justin Beiber's name is mentioned even once, it can instantly become a title. Same with Katy Perry or Nicki Minaj, or any celebrity. If there are no innuendo or sexual references, always be sure to at least sneak in a "SEXY" related word in the title. It won't matter, as long as YouTube's getting the $$$, they couldn't give two shits. Also, if you are making a dramatic video, be sure to make the title equally as whorish, like "YOUTUBE GOT ME FIRED" Acting in a Shane Dawson video #Smile and wave at camera, ask "hey, what's up you guys?" #Be sure to move slightly across the screen and move your head to the camera as if you were just talking to someone else EVERY TIME before stating another sentance. Be sure to use jump cuts in this as well. #Find a hawt sexy picture of some chick on Google. This will get eleven year old boys thrilled until they see your face taking up the whole video. #Make two 3 minute skits about nothing. #Add a few childish dick jokes. #Be sure to fiddle in the word "fag" anywhere you can. #Look shocked after every skit like you weren't just telling the story to begin with. #Get a black person to represent a horrible rapist/ghetto stereotype. If you can't find one, go blackface and do it yourself. #Come up with a random prize that you probably won't even give away, with the only request being for your fans to like, favorite, and share your video, subscribe to your channel, and leave a comment. #Upload to YouTube. #Change the thumbnail to the hawt chick. #PROFIT, MOTHERFUCKER!!! Characters *'Shanaynay': An "eccentric", "ghettolicious" whore who knows all her "ABCs", "123s" and "STDs". She was Shane's most popular youtube persona, and was originally Shane's intended new identity after his attempt to get a sex change in 2008. He chickened out and decided to use this intended persona as an excuse to be a drag queen. *'Aunt Hilda': His least funny, and most annoying character. An old bitch who hates everything and just wants to party. Overacting is at it's worst with this bitch. SHe has a terrible and annoying jewish accent. God I hate Aunt Hilda. *'Paris Hilton': Not the real drunk ugly slut, but an even uglier, but slightly less drunk slut. Her entire point is to sniff coke, fuck, drool, and host insanely cruel parties. *'Ned the Nerd': Stereotypical geek who lives with his mom and tends to be cought up in gay moments. What's the difference with the original Shane Dawson? Well, as some skits will show, this character has actually been laid. *'His mom': Yeah, he even made a character poking fun at his mom. This character is an evil, neglectful, mentally abusive cunt who harasses her son and calls him a "faggot" for the stupidest of reasons. She hates him because she would have been a rich porn star if not for his birth. *'S-Deezy': A gangster who thinks he's the shit. His dick is huge, but is a cover up to show how insecure Shane is about his pathetic needle dick. He cums in his pants whenever any girl, even his grandmother, gets slutty. Then he shoots them. Funny right? *'Fruit Lupe': His newest character. She has purple hair tied in huge bows. She's supposed to be a mexican stereotype, but I don't even see that. She's not funny at all, and every stik with her is kind awkward for some reason. Maybe it's her personality. *'Guadelupe': A maid. She tends to be played by either Shane or his brother. Her entire point is to get abused or to fuck a dog. Whichever Shane's in the mood for. *'Switch': An emo. His entire point is to be emo. The difference? While Emos are supposed to be emotional, he lacks almost as much emotion as that crazy slut from twilight. You know, the main character who's facial expression never changes. His voice is autotuned whenever he sings appeariently. *'Gabby': played by Shane's cousin. She was supposedly Shane's daughter, but this was eventually proven false. Well duh! She's like 12. Shane's only 25, and god knows he isn't cool enough to get a girl pregnant at 13. *'Amy': A blonde bitch who goes to Shane's high school. She's mean to her friends and kinda mean to Shane. I don't care about her. moving on. *'Barb': A lesbian. That's pretty much it. *'Shane': Shane Dawson's persona of himself. He's pretty much the same, only kinda psychotic and a lot more pathet-.... Nevermind, they are the same. Music videos Shane makes music. They use autotune. It's funny, because in a past video, he specifically states that he'd never become one of those whores who makes a music career with no talent. He totally broke his own word when the music video for his "hit single", "Superluv", came out: "Superluv" is a really stupid name for a music video. He went all out on that autotune. Later on, he made another song called "Vacation", which is slightly less annoying, but it's still a Shane Dawson music video. YTWatchdog and TheArchfiend These two brave men fought for justice, peace, American and the YouTube way! Shane Dawson hate videos are very common. The YTwatchdog was the first man to attack Shane on his bullshit. The fight brought many epic lulz to us who enjoyed the YTwatchdog. Sadly, the shit hit the fan! Shane Dawson who got pwnt decided to get revenge on the YTwatchdog, so he used his Twitter to have a massive fan attack on the dog. People tried to contact PeTA, but it was too late. Shane made a YouTube video about his so called "hate" video, and the video got flagged by his fangirls. Resulting in the suspension of the YTWatchdog. The Ytwatchdog came back in the next few months, and he exposed him again. Shane this time only talked about it on Twitter. Shane is such a sad little dog, oh but the joy was just soon to hit him. TheArchfiend is your typical Eagles fan on YouTube and also a YTWatchdog fanboy and makes his rants almost like his(they even have annoying voices!). When YTWatch gave a shoutout to "Archie" in his recent video, it was said that "Archie" ejaculated for 48 hours, resulting of the town of Burlington New Joisey to be flooded with Archfiend goo. Always, saying what's on his mind and breaking his hypocritical code. But, he decided to do something useful for once, instead of bitching about the Cowboys beating the Eagles in the 2009-10 playoffs. He attacked Shane Dawson, using facts and epic lulz. Eventually, YTWatchdog got bored with YouTube and decided to get a life, or whatever a life a watchdog could have. At said time, MeusProductions began to beg his fans to watch his videos on Blip, so people stopped liking him. Thus, Archfiend became the most populat whorebasher on YouTube. Archfiend made a super loud video that pretty much covered every last thing that made Shane Dawson a total whore (e.g. Quagmire hates Brian style). Most of Shane's fans couldn't even defend the douchebag NONE of them could defend him. Shane also unintentionally admitted being a whore, stating that he creates fake thumbails because he thinks they're like movie posters or some shit like that. I wonder how someone who saw a movie poster with Angelina Jolie near-topless and went in only to see a shitty remake of 12 angry men. Shane gets married She farts a lot and he spits a lot. Nobody really cares. By the way, they aren't married. It's another fake title. Hahahahahaha. Category:Youtube whores Category:Real People Category:Douchebags Category:Homophobes Category:Males Category:Bisexual YouTubers Category:YouTubers that dated other YouTubers Category:Famous YouTubers Category:YouTubers in their 20s Category:YouTubers that used to straighten their hair Category:YouTubers that changed their name